FollowTodays question comes from another woman who wishes to remain anonymous and who is questioning whether she’s with the right man or not. She feels like he’s not pulling his own weight financially speaking and something about that concerns her and rubs her the wrong way.
Here is the full question below and my answer is in the video. Enjoy!
“I’ve been dating a really special guy since October. In the beginning I was swept away by his charm, good looks, and sweet words. As we continued to date I was the one that paid for every meal (other than our first date sandwich which we split). He would claim that he left his credit card in a pocket or had no cash. Of course I was happy to pay in such cases. As time went on this unbalanced me paying for everything continued and I started to feel some resentment towards him. I explained to him that when I was previously married I was the one in charge of finances and that I felt like my ex-husbands mother in that role (as we worked to pay off debt) and that it is extremely important for me not to feel taken advantage of, or the only one fiscally responsible.
We had a heart to heart and he understood what I was hoping to convey. He promised as soon as he had a new job it would be his turn and he would balance things out. Being the compassionate gal that I am, I felt better about this promise. But a few months later and with a new job things haven’t changed.
His financial concerns are a reality. He has to buy a new computer and pay for an unexpected surgery and he has no health insurance. I am in a better financial situation than he is, yet I don’t wish to be his sugar mamma.
There are many good qualities about him, he speaks kind words to me, he is am amazing lover and adores my body (sometimes too much!), he’s a great cook, we have many similar interests.
I care for him deeply and don’t want to hurt him. How do I know if he’s the right choice for me and can I be with a man who’s not pulling his own weight financially speaking?”
-E